Hi Everyone,
OYEOYEOYE WHAT A DAAAAAAAAAAAY. I totally HATE Mondays. Always have and today was NOT my day. I only got about an hour and a half of sleep (Jay was kickin in his sleep and OMG it hurts when anyone touches my legs). Then I got the kids on the bus. Tried to go back to sleep for a bit, but everyone kept buzzin my phone for some reason this morning, so i gave up. Then i fell trying to negotiate the steps. Then I learned that the cats broke the ONLY lid i have for my cooking pots. Tried to load the dishwarsher but the caddy that holds my sliverware came apart (Jay can and has fixed this for me before, but of course he was at work). Then I fell in the laundry room tryin to put clothes from the warsher to the dryer. Talked to my sis to plan out dates for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We THOUGHT we planned around Jay's hunting season BUT I was wrong, so instead of having 4 days for his first season he will only have 3. Fell AGAIN in the laundry room switchin laundry again (this time missing the edge of the gun safe by inches) and THEN I fell trying to get out on the porch to watch the kids come in from the bus. And after that i said NOOOOOOOO MORE. I go on STRIKE for the rest of the day. And I have been on the couch ever since. And it didn't stop there. I work a site called Swagbucks. It is a reward site where you can do things to earn "swagbucks" and in turn cash those in for actual gift cards. Once you get the hang of it, it is pretty fun and easy. I have made the majority of my christmas money that way. BUT the swagbucks TV that i normally have running in the background while i workin on surveys isn't working for me today. UGH I TOTALLY GIVE UP I TELL YA. Sooooooo right now i am sucking on a blueberry dum dum sucker, writing in this blog, and watching the Mr. Men show with toby while Daddy is in the shower. I might work on the cuddle blanket i am making for Josie (gotta make bub and jay one too after hers is done). Daddy is making supper for me tonight, and then there is a new episode of Hawaii five-o on tonight. I am gonna chalk this day up to the fact that mondays hate me, and start fresh tomorrow.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Feeling a bit overwhelmed.....maybe I am overthinking things
Hi Everyone,
Hope all are having a great day, and enjoying this last day of indian summer. I'm doing ok, I guess I just feel a bit overwhelmed today for some reason. And of course this could be me just overthinking things.....LOL. I am still trying to find information on some assistance for making our home more wheelchair accessible. Seems like there are alot of articles on the internet that suggest that there is help out there, however they are scant on details as to where to go and what grants to look for. Tomorrow after I go to parent teacher conferences we are free for the weekend (Jay has Fridays off usually and the kids are outta school tomorrow). Sooooooo......we will probably do some errands in town and I may have Jay take me to some places that might have some more detailed ideas on where to look and what steps i need to complete. And this house situation is REALLY starting to frustrate me. Don't get me wrong, I totally LOOOOOVE my home. Our neighbors are very much a part of our family. BUT we kinda outgrew this house about 1 kid ago.....LOL. Ideally we would like to add on to the house out toward the garage.....then move the kitchen and living room....that way we could install a ramp on the 3 steps separating our existing living room/kitchen. But for the moment I am very frustrated. My home is.....well......lets just say VERY well lived in.....LOL. Not much storage room and with my mobility issues things have gotten very cluttered. And it frustrates me that I am MUCH slower now so it takes me longer to do what I need to do safely. My ma suggested that I look into getting someone to help me with the house. But I'm just not to that point yet. I wouldn't mind help in getting everything caught up and organized (as i THINK i would be able to keep it up better if it were organized) , but to have someone come in on a regular basis......ummmmmmm no sorry. I am 35 and a mommy and wife. With the correct adaptations I could TOTALLY do this on my own NO PROBLEM. But as the layout stands right now it is a MAJOR challenge (not to mention a bit of a safety issue cause i tend to fall ALOT with those stairs and even on even terrain......LOL). Yes....I was a bit of a klutz before all this now that it takes all the power i have to schooch my legs forward one at a time to hobble around it is like OMG 10 times worse. (think of a newborn giraffe trying to walk on ice). Now I'm not asking for a handout.....I am TOTALLY willing to put work in where i can and money where i can. But with the economy, medical bills, and everyday life we have found ourselves with less than stellar credit. But really I'm not asking for a mansion or anything extravagant. I just want to be able to move around my home to the point where i can take care of my family without the fear of bodily harm. I want my husband's mind to be at ease when he is at work (he worries terribly that something is going to happen while he is at work and the kids are at school). But it is REALLY important (REALLY IMPORTANT) for me to be able to do things on my own, without worry, without having to plan my next 3 steps in advance. I CAN DO ANYTHING everyone else can, I just need some adaptations to make it safe. I dont want people doing it for me, nor do i want people to see me in their minds as helpless, because I AM NOT. I just need the chance and the modifications necessary and then WATCH ME FLY BABY.
Once I get things the way I need them here at home, I am thinking about inquiring about places that maybe I can volunteer. I want to help other that need assistance, or just need someone who understands what they are going thru. Ideally I would like to work behind the scenes with a place that offers these services for people. I live in a rural community and I'm not even sure if there is a place out there helping people with these kinds of needs. I mean I am a fairly intelligent woman, if it is this difficult for me to find resources, think how hard it is for someone who is elderly, or someone who may not be good at researching things online, or someone with little to no family support. When you think of it that way, I'm really lucky in my situation (even with all the difficulties). We HAVE to find a way for these resources to be more well known in our community, or if they don't exist we NEED to make them exist. I can tell you from personal experience, people with disabilities are NOT looking for a handout. They are looking for just a bit of help so that they can do things on their own. Even people without disabilities need morale support, a smile from someone who understands what they are going thru. And I'm sorry, with all the day to day difficulties we face, we shouldn't have to jump thru a million hoops just to be able to find ways to work around what we deal with. I'm not saying it should be a cake walk.....but just a BIT easier. Even if it is just a bit easier to find resources to point people in the right direction, a caring smile, someone to talk to. I am NOT one of those people that think just because I have disabilities that I am owed something. I am JUST like you. The only thing you owe me, is the decency to treat me as you treat everyone else. But I do think that we need to advertise (for lack of a better word) the resources that are out there for people. You dont know who is at the end of their rope dealing with these issues that are hanging by a thread. I am lucky, I have family and friends who love me for who I am. But what about those people who are alone and no one to bounce ideas off of or even just to get a hug and let them know hey yeah this is hard BUT we will get thru it. And for those saying "well....in a rural area you really dont need those types of services" OH YEAH? You would be surprised at how many people there are around here who could REALLY benefit from programs like that. Young and older alike. Even to just help educate people. You would be SURPRISED how many people I freak out just by being deaf, let ALONE mobility issues. I know that it is a rough world out there, but ya know sometimes even just a smile and a nod goes a long ways to helping people. And if you can make someone's day a little brighter or make it just a bit easier for someone to do things, whats the harm. Not only will you make a difference in someone's life that really needs it, but you would be AMAZED what you will learn also.
Thanks for listening my peeps. **smoochies**
Hope all are having a great day, and enjoying this last day of indian summer. I'm doing ok, I guess I just feel a bit overwhelmed today for some reason. And of course this could be me just overthinking things.....LOL. I am still trying to find information on some assistance for making our home more wheelchair accessible. Seems like there are alot of articles on the internet that suggest that there is help out there, however they are scant on details as to where to go and what grants to look for. Tomorrow after I go to parent teacher conferences we are free for the weekend (Jay has Fridays off usually and the kids are outta school tomorrow). Sooooooo......we will probably do some errands in town and I may have Jay take me to some places that might have some more detailed ideas on where to look and what steps i need to complete. And this house situation is REALLY starting to frustrate me. Don't get me wrong, I totally LOOOOOVE my home. Our neighbors are very much a part of our family. BUT we kinda outgrew this house about 1 kid ago.....LOL. Ideally we would like to add on to the house out toward the garage.....then move the kitchen and living room....that way we could install a ramp on the 3 steps separating our existing living room/kitchen. But for the moment I am very frustrated. My home is.....well......lets just say VERY well lived in.....LOL. Not much storage room and with my mobility issues things have gotten very cluttered. And it frustrates me that I am MUCH slower now so it takes me longer to do what I need to do safely. My ma suggested that I look into getting someone to help me with the house. But I'm just not to that point yet. I wouldn't mind help in getting everything caught up and organized (as i THINK i would be able to keep it up better if it were organized) , but to have someone come in on a regular basis......ummmmmmm no sorry. I am 35 and a mommy and wife. With the correct adaptations I could TOTALLY do this on my own NO PROBLEM. But as the layout stands right now it is a MAJOR challenge (not to mention a bit of a safety issue cause i tend to fall ALOT with those stairs and even on even terrain......LOL). Yes....I was a bit of a klutz before all this now that it takes all the power i have to schooch my legs forward one at a time to hobble around it is like OMG 10 times worse. (think of a newborn giraffe trying to walk on ice). Now I'm not asking for a handout.....I am TOTALLY willing to put work in where i can and money where i can. But with the economy, medical bills, and everyday life we have found ourselves with less than stellar credit. But really I'm not asking for a mansion or anything extravagant. I just want to be able to move around my home to the point where i can take care of my family without the fear of bodily harm. I want my husband's mind to be at ease when he is at work (he worries terribly that something is going to happen while he is at work and the kids are at school). But it is REALLY important (REALLY IMPORTANT) for me to be able to do things on my own, without worry, without having to plan my next 3 steps in advance. I CAN DO ANYTHING everyone else can, I just need some adaptations to make it safe. I dont want people doing it for me, nor do i want people to see me in their minds as helpless, because I AM NOT. I just need the chance and the modifications necessary and then WATCH ME FLY BABY.
Once I get things the way I need them here at home, I am thinking about inquiring about places that maybe I can volunteer. I want to help other that need assistance, or just need someone who understands what they are going thru. Ideally I would like to work behind the scenes with a place that offers these services for people. I live in a rural community and I'm not even sure if there is a place out there helping people with these kinds of needs. I mean I am a fairly intelligent woman, if it is this difficult for me to find resources, think how hard it is for someone who is elderly, or someone who may not be good at researching things online, or someone with little to no family support. When you think of it that way, I'm really lucky in my situation (even with all the difficulties). We HAVE to find a way for these resources to be more well known in our community, or if they don't exist we NEED to make them exist. I can tell you from personal experience, people with disabilities are NOT looking for a handout. They are looking for just a bit of help so that they can do things on their own. Even people without disabilities need morale support, a smile from someone who understands what they are going thru. And I'm sorry, with all the day to day difficulties we face, we shouldn't have to jump thru a million hoops just to be able to find ways to work around what we deal with. I'm not saying it should be a cake walk.....but just a BIT easier. Even if it is just a bit easier to find resources to point people in the right direction, a caring smile, someone to talk to. I am NOT one of those people that think just because I have disabilities that I am owed something. I am JUST like you. The only thing you owe me, is the decency to treat me as you treat everyone else. But I do think that we need to advertise (for lack of a better word) the resources that are out there for people. You dont know who is at the end of their rope dealing with these issues that are hanging by a thread. I am lucky, I have family and friends who love me for who I am. But what about those people who are alone and no one to bounce ideas off of or even just to get a hug and let them know hey yeah this is hard BUT we will get thru it. And for those saying "well....in a rural area you really dont need those types of services" OH YEAH? You would be surprised at how many people there are around here who could REALLY benefit from programs like that. Young and older alike. Even to just help educate people. You would be SURPRISED how many people I freak out just by being deaf, let ALONE mobility issues. I know that it is a rough world out there, but ya know sometimes even just a smile and a nod goes a long ways to helping people. And if you can make someone's day a little brighter or make it just a bit easier for someone to do things, whats the harm. Not only will you make a difference in someone's life that really needs it, but you would be AMAZED what you will learn also.
Thanks for listening my peeps. **smoochies**
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Just a loafin
Hi Everyone,
Hope all have had a good day. Not too bad here. Was sick most of the morning, but THAT was my own stupid oopsie. I forgot to eat with the antibiotics that i am taking for a sinus infection. UUUUUUGH....yeah wont do that again.....LOL. Enjoying Indian Summer while it lasts. It was in the mid 70's today, and tomorrow will be in the high 70's before it drops off on Friday. Speaking of Friday......kids are outta school and I have parent teacher conferences. My ma usually goes with me to help with any translation problems and to see how the kids are doing in school. That way i dont miss anything, and it is less frustration for me when she comes with to translate. I also need to go to the bus garage at the high school to see if they will add a bus stop at my house. Right now there are 2 stops on 10th street here for our bus. See to get on the bus the kids go down to the cul-de-sac just across the road and down a bit. In the evenings since the bus is comming from the other direction, the bus driver comes more toward my house since my kids are smaller and he knows that i cannot make it down there. BUT in the mornings, i cannot go all the way down to the stop. I can go with them to the mailbox, but they have to cross 10th by themselves and then walk down the ditch to their stop. Which is ok, but 2 things......one i am scared to DEATH that one of these days someone will forget something and DART back across 10th street.......and two when snow hits they cannot walk in the ditch, as it becomes impassible, so they will have to walk on 10th street itself.....which is NOT gonna work for me AT ALL. Sooooooooo the school is gonna hafta either add a stop at my house, or have the 2 other kids that get on with Toby and Josie walk down here (they are older and take walks on 10th street all the time in the summer. Which i PRAY they just add another stop here at the house.....cause i REALLY dont want the other 2 to have to walk 10th in the winter either. They are a couple years older than mine, BUT their parents leave for work about 10 min before the bus gets here......and they are AWESOME girls. They REALLY watch out for Toby and Josie on the bus and such. Where i stand in the yard, i can see the bus stop and the next one too.....and i kinda "watch out" for all the kids that are in my view. 10th street isn't like a major highway, BUT it gets very busy on this corner in the mornings. Peeps going to work, kids picking up their friends for school, etc. I have fought my hubby on this asking for another bus stop thing, but picking up my powerchair has been put on hold for a bit (due to trying to save up gas money again) so I really cannot argue with him on this anymore.
I went to the doctor yesterday (for sinus infection and medicine refill). It went ok. They asked for confirmation as to when my seating appointment is and made me PROMISE to give it to them straight and not try to hide pain or anything. They also adjusted my pain medicine so that it will last longer. I still try to hide alot of the pain, even from them. Not really sure why, that is the way i have always been i guess. I dont like to make people uncomfortable and really dont like being the center of attention (again i am the "work in the background" type). I guess I feel that if i show my pain that it brings unwanted attention and makes me look weak. But i agree, this is silly thinking when it comes to talking to your doctor.
Well, Jay (hubby) is outta the shower, and I have supper to work on (we keep a later schedule than most peeps cause Jay works 10hr shifts (but cant complain cause he is off on fridays). Thanks for listening my friends **hugs**
Hope all have had a good day. Not too bad here. Was sick most of the morning, but THAT was my own stupid oopsie. I forgot to eat with the antibiotics that i am taking for a sinus infection. UUUUUUGH....yeah wont do that again.....LOL. Enjoying Indian Summer while it lasts. It was in the mid 70's today, and tomorrow will be in the high 70's before it drops off on Friday. Speaking of Friday......kids are outta school and I have parent teacher conferences. My ma usually goes with me to help with any translation problems and to see how the kids are doing in school. That way i dont miss anything, and it is less frustration for me when she comes with to translate. I also need to go to the bus garage at the high school to see if they will add a bus stop at my house. Right now there are 2 stops on 10th street here for our bus. See to get on the bus the kids go down to the cul-de-sac just across the road and down a bit. In the evenings since the bus is comming from the other direction, the bus driver comes more toward my house since my kids are smaller and he knows that i cannot make it down there. BUT in the mornings, i cannot go all the way down to the stop. I can go with them to the mailbox, but they have to cross 10th by themselves and then walk down the ditch to their stop. Which is ok, but 2 things......one i am scared to DEATH that one of these days someone will forget something and DART back across 10th street.......and two when snow hits they cannot walk in the ditch, as it becomes impassible, so they will have to walk on 10th street itself.....which is NOT gonna work for me AT ALL. Sooooooooo the school is gonna hafta either add a stop at my house, or have the 2 other kids that get on with Toby and Josie walk down here (they are older and take walks on 10th street all the time in the summer. Which i PRAY they just add another stop here at the house.....cause i REALLY dont want the other 2 to have to walk 10th in the winter either. They are a couple years older than mine, BUT their parents leave for work about 10 min before the bus gets here......and they are AWESOME girls. They REALLY watch out for Toby and Josie on the bus and such. Where i stand in the yard, i can see the bus stop and the next one too.....and i kinda "watch out" for all the kids that are in my view. 10th street isn't like a major highway, BUT it gets very busy on this corner in the mornings. Peeps going to work, kids picking up their friends for school, etc. I have fought my hubby on this asking for another bus stop thing, but picking up my powerchair has been put on hold for a bit (due to trying to save up gas money again) so I really cannot argue with him on this anymore.
I went to the doctor yesterday (for sinus infection and medicine refill). It went ok. They asked for confirmation as to when my seating appointment is and made me PROMISE to give it to them straight and not try to hide pain or anything. They also adjusted my pain medicine so that it will last longer. I still try to hide alot of the pain, even from them. Not really sure why, that is the way i have always been i guess. I dont like to make people uncomfortable and really dont like being the center of attention (again i am the "work in the background" type). I guess I feel that if i show my pain that it brings unwanted attention and makes me look weak. But i agree, this is silly thinking when it comes to talking to your doctor.
Well, Jay (hubby) is outta the shower, and I have supper to work on (we keep a later schedule than most peeps cause Jay works 10hr shifts (but cant complain cause he is off on fridays). Thanks for listening my friends **hugs**
Monday, October 22, 2012
Indian summer is here
Hi everyone,
Hope you are enjoying indian summer that is slated for this week. What is indian summer you ask.....indian summer is the last warm spell in the fall before cool weather sets in for good till spring. This happens after the first hard frost (which has happened here where i am). Highs here are going to be in the upper 70\'s all week till saturday, when the highs will sharply drop down into the high 40\'s and low 50\'s for the forseeable future. And that is it for the regional weather lesson for today.....LOL
Not much is going on here. Tryin to get around the house as best i can to get caught up on house work and trying to find workarounds that will get me by for the moment. And i have OMGOMGOMG CABIN FEVER BAAAAAAAAAD!!!! I really want to go to the mall just to be around people, see what movies are playin, window shop ANYTHING to get out of the house. Now my hubby on the other hand would rather not (which is REALLY weird cause usually I am the homebody and he is the OMG GOTTA GET OUTTA THE HOUSE guy). But I have another reson to look forward to the 6th (other than my seating evaluation). My sister is goin to meet me for lunch after my appointment **shaking with excitement**. Now i know that doesn\'t sound very exciting, but a few things to keep in mind. Here a few years ago her family moved to a town about an hour away from here, and i REALLY dont get to see her very often. And with gas prices the way they are, it is hard for us to see eachother. We talk alot on messenger and such, but i havent seen her in person since last Christmas. I\'m so excited and totally scared at the same time. Scared?? Yes scared. Last time i saw her I could hide my mobility problems alot better than i can now. There is no "hiding" my difficulties now. And remember me saying that i am VERY self concious about it, yeah THAT is the scared part for me. Number one i DONT want to freak her out. Number two i DONT want her thinking of me any different. Not that she would, maybe that part is more in my head, but it is still there. Now she is 2 years older than me, and a very inteligent woman. She is an AWESOME teacher and is OMG nifty with a sewing needle (that girl can make almost anything from a needle and thread and she can decorate a house with the best of them). That being said, even when we were younger I would still try to protect her from things i knew would hurt her. Not sure if she ever realized i do that, but i always have. That being said, I\'m really nervous about our lunch and the upcoming holidays. I know she will be understanding and she wont treat me any different, but i also know that it is not gonna be easy for her either. She has a heart of gold and this is something i really cant protect her from. I cannot "hide" my mobility problems like i use to. The places we have or holidays are not WC friendly, so i will be "hobbeling" and that is not a pretty sight. (And not something i can do for any length of time). I will be able to hide that part on our lunch, but not over the holidays (i hope to be outta my car and in my chair before she gets there LOL). And as far as the holidays i still want to do the things i have always done (like help clear the table, help with dishes, etc). I can still do those things, just in a little bit different way (i do those things sitting down now with some help from Toby). I dont know. I guess i am just worrying and rambeling a bit, but those are the things on my mind right now.
Hope you are enjoying indian summer that is slated for this week. What is indian summer you ask.....indian summer is the last warm spell in the fall before cool weather sets in for good till spring. This happens after the first hard frost (which has happened here where i am). Highs here are going to be in the upper 70\'s all week till saturday, when the highs will sharply drop down into the high 40\'s and low 50\'s for the forseeable future. And that is it for the regional weather lesson for today.....LOL
Not much is going on here. Tryin to get around the house as best i can to get caught up on house work and trying to find workarounds that will get me by for the moment. And i have OMGOMGOMG CABIN FEVER BAAAAAAAAAD!!!! I really want to go to the mall just to be around people, see what movies are playin, window shop ANYTHING to get out of the house. Now my hubby on the other hand would rather not (which is REALLY weird cause usually I am the homebody and he is the OMG GOTTA GET OUTTA THE HOUSE guy). But I have another reson to look forward to the 6th (other than my seating evaluation). My sister is goin to meet me for lunch after my appointment **shaking with excitement**. Now i know that doesn\'t sound very exciting, but a few things to keep in mind. Here a few years ago her family moved to a town about an hour away from here, and i REALLY dont get to see her very often. And with gas prices the way they are, it is hard for us to see eachother. We talk alot on messenger and such, but i havent seen her in person since last Christmas. I\'m so excited and totally scared at the same time. Scared?? Yes scared. Last time i saw her I could hide my mobility problems alot better than i can now. There is no "hiding" my difficulties now. And remember me saying that i am VERY self concious about it, yeah THAT is the scared part for me. Number one i DONT want to freak her out. Number two i DONT want her thinking of me any different. Not that she would, maybe that part is more in my head, but it is still there. Now she is 2 years older than me, and a very inteligent woman. She is an AWESOME teacher and is OMG nifty with a sewing needle (that girl can make almost anything from a needle and thread and she can decorate a house with the best of them). That being said, even when we were younger I would still try to protect her from things i knew would hurt her. Not sure if she ever realized i do that, but i always have. That being said, I\'m really nervous about our lunch and the upcoming holidays. I know she will be understanding and she wont treat me any different, but i also know that it is not gonna be easy for her either. She has a heart of gold and this is something i really cant protect her from. I cannot "hide" my mobility problems like i use to. The places we have or holidays are not WC friendly, so i will be "hobbeling" and that is not a pretty sight. (And not something i can do for any length of time). I will be able to hide that part on our lunch, but not over the holidays (i hope to be outta my car and in my chair before she gets there LOL). And as far as the holidays i still want to do the things i have always done (like help clear the table, help with dishes, etc). I can still do those things, just in a little bit different way (i do those things sitting down now with some help from Toby). I dont know. I guess i am just worrying and rambeling a bit, but those are the things on my mind right now.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Tis the season and the everyday
Hi Everyone,
Hope all is good this dreary fall day. The colors on the trees are all turning and the winds are starting to blow them off the trees. I LOVE this time of year. Toby (my youngest) has been home from school the last couple of days fighting a fever and bronchitis. As long as i keep Tylenol in him his fever subsides, but miss a dose and OMG right back up it goes :( So he has been home layin on the couch, snoozin, watching cartoons, and helpin me out a bit. He LOOOOOOVES to help mama and we make a pretty good team. He especially likes to help load and unload the dishwarsher. I cant stand up for very long if at all most times, so we have worked out a system. I will sit at the dishwarsher and stack things together that go in the same place. He will use his super-boy monkey climbing abilities, and climb up to the cabinet he needs then I will hand stuff up to him to put up. Then when we load the dishwarsher, he will bring me the stuff off the table to the sink a little at a time for me. I will sit and rinse them off and load them in the dishwarsher beside the sink. (keeping in mind I use one of my canes to work the water and the switch for the garbage disposal. It always brings a smile to his face when he knows that he is helping. I PRAY he never grows out of that cause that will take him far in life. Josie (my oldest) likes to help, but she is 10 and alot of times she will take the opportunity of bubba helping me and get in some alone time (bubba doesn't realize that she needs some "me" time sometimes and has a tendency to bug the bajeezers outta her).
Other than that not much really going on here. Waiting for the 6th of next month to find out where we go from here. I FINALLY got ahold of the center for independent living for our area. They didn't have any information on any grants to make our house wheelchair accessible, BUT she said that she will do some research for me and find something, cause we both know they are out there, we just gotta put our heads together and look. And the PT/OT (phycial therapist/occupational therapist) that I see on the 6th for my seating evaluation might have some leads too. I am determined to get everything where I need it so I can fully take care of things on my own. Don't get me wrong, it is nice to have my family help, but I want to be able to do it on my own when I can. Where there is a will there IS a way. I have also prayed and stewed for awhile on the issue of church. I was brought up in an independent, Bible believing, baptist family. And my husband was raised on the same values and principles. We have been out of church for awhile mostly due to the fact that I could not get over my embarrassment over my inability to walk correctly and now the need for a wheelchair. After much fighting with the Lord, I have givin in to what I know is right, and we are actively looking to get back in church.
On a different note, I am thinking about writing an email AND a letter to the local walmart. The nearest "bigger" town to us is 15 miles away. 2 interstates go thru that town and it has a bigger walmart than most places. Now, they have regular shopping carts, and then specialty shopping carts for people with kids. BUT they don't have any wheelchair shopping carts (these are adapted carts that you can hook onto the front of your wheelchair so that you dont have to depend on someone else to wheel a shopping cart for you). Now I am going to be very nice when I bring up the subject, cause in reality, unless you are in need of one the thought of one may not have ever crossed their minds. Now yes they do cost the company money, BUT think of it this way.....when I am alone (hubby at work, kids at school) my shopping is restricted to what I can fit on my lap. BUT if I had access to a wheelchair shopping cart, I could and WOULD by more on my trip to their store. So in reality, not only does this help me, but also them. And with the interstates RIGHT beside them, I bet it would help other customers also. Now I really dont have to worry about this at the mom and pop shops in that town, as they are small enough where i can get a lap full.....take it to the counter....and they will hold it back till i get everything i need, and they will hold it at the counter while i take what i can out to my vehicle and come back for more (or in most cases they will help me out with it if i allow them too).
Well, I have to go now, as bubba is trying to make a peach jam sandwich and for some reason today it is not going very well for him.....LOL. Thanks again for listening my friends.
Hope all is good this dreary fall day. The colors on the trees are all turning and the winds are starting to blow them off the trees. I LOVE this time of year. Toby (my youngest) has been home from school the last couple of days fighting a fever and bronchitis. As long as i keep Tylenol in him his fever subsides, but miss a dose and OMG right back up it goes :( So he has been home layin on the couch, snoozin, watching cartoons, and helpin me out a bit. He LOOOOOOVES to help mama and we make a pretty good team. He especially likes to help load and unload the dishwarsher. I cant stand up for very long if at all most times, so we have worked out a system. I will sit at the dishwarsher and stack things together that go in the same place. He will use his super-boy monkey climbing abilities, and climb up to the cabinet he needs then I will hand stuff up to him to put up. Then when we load the dishwarsher, he will bring me the stuff off the table to the sink a little at a time for me. I will sit and rinse them off and load them in the dishwarsher beside the sink. (keeping in mind I use one of my canes to work the water and the switch for the garbage disposal. It always brings a smile to his face when he knows that he is helping. I PRAY he never grows out of that cause that will take him far in life. Josie (my oldest) likes to help, but she is 10 and alot of times she will take the opportunity of bubba helping me and get in some alone time (bubba doesn't realize that she needs some "me" time sometimes and has a tendency to bug the bajeezers outta her).
Other than that not much really going on here. Waiting for the 6th of next month to find out where we go from here. I FINALLY got ahold of the center for independent living for our area. They didn't have any information on any grants to make our house wheelchair accessible, BUT she said that she will do some research for me and find something, cause we both know they are out there, we just gotta put our heads together and look. And the PT/OT (phycial therapist/occupational therapist) that I see on the 6th for my seating evaluation might have some leads too. I am determined to get everything where I need it so I can fully take care of things on my own. Don't get me wrong, it is nice to have my family help, but I want to be able to do it on my own when I can. Where there is a will there IS a way. I have also prayed and stewed for awhile on the issue of church. I was brought up in an independent, Bible believing, baptist family. And my husband was raised on the same values and principles. We have been out of church for awhile mostly due to the fact that I could not get over my embarrassment over my inability to walk correctly and now the need for a wheelchair. After much fighting with the Lord, I have givin in to what I know is right, and we are actively looking to get back in church.
On a different note, I am thinking about writing an email AND a letter to the local walmart. The nearest "bigger" town to us is 15 miles away. 2 interstates go thru that town and it has a bigger walmart than most places. Now, they have regular shopping carts, and then specialty shopping carts for people with kids. BUT they don't have any wheelchair shopping carts (these are adapted carts that you can hook onto the front of your wheelchair so that you dont have to depend on someone else to wheel a shopping cart for you). Now I am going to be very nice when I bring up the subject, cause in reality, unless you are in need of one the thought of one may not have ever crossed their minds. Now yes they do cost the company money, BUT think of it this way.....when I am alone (hubby at work, kids at school) my shopping is restricted to what I can fit on my lap. BUT if I had access to a wheelchair shopping cart, I could and WOULD by more on my trip to their store. So in reality, not only does this help me, but also them. And with the interstates RIGHT beside them, I bet it would help other customers also. Now I really dont have to worry about this at the mom and pop shops in that town, as they are small enough where i can get a lap full.....take it to the counter....and they will hold it back till i get everything i need, and they will hold it at the counter while i take what i can out to my vehicle and come back for more (or in most cases they will help me out with it if i allow them too).
Well, I have to go now, as bubba is trying to make a peach jam sandwich and for some reason today it is not going very well for him.....LOL. Thanks again for listening my friends.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
OMG FRAZZELED
OMGOMGOMGOMG I AM FRUSTRATED. Fatooshed, fershknuckled, miffed, torqued, irritated and and all. OYE. Ok a family friend suggested that we look into finding more information about a grant or low interest loan to make our house wheelchair accessible. HOLY CRAP that is a good idear. Ok he suggested the first place we start is CEFS (a community outreach program that helps with things like this, heating for those who cannot afford it, meals on wheels etc). Now keep in mind, when i call places I have to use the national relay system (cause I am deaf). Most places in this area are NOT very tty/relay friendly. Anyway more on that later here. I called them and they said i needed DOOR's (a different program that helps disabled individuals with any number of different needs). Soooooo I called them, they said I needed the vocational rehab offices (DUH even I knew that was wrong). But I called them anyway, they said I needed the center for independent living. Now THAT sounds about right or at least on the right track. BUT by the time i got through with all the run around, they were closed by the time I called them. OYE what would be a 5 min phone call for a normal person takes 15-20 min for a TTY/Relay call. NOT because the operators are slow, NOT because I am slow to answer, NOT because the translation takes too long. The reason behind this is because the most articulate people in the world become BUMBLING IDIOTS when they receive a TTY/Relay call. I'm serious they turn into people that have NO common sense. I kid you not, the relay system is NOT that hard to understand. It is almost EXACTLY like talking on a CB, only with a middleman. 4 rules that is it. 1. Don't interrupt the other person when they are talking (cause it REALLY ticks off the operator and rightfully so). 2. When you are finished speaking and ready for the other person to answer you say "go ahead" (just like on a CB you would say "over"). 3. When you are finished with the conversation and ready to say goodbye you say "stop keying" (like on a CB you would say over and out). 4. Do NOT talk in the 3rd person (like don't say "tell her that......" or "could you ask them.....") When people translate (either via relay or even in person) they translate what you are saying VERBATIM word for word. They do NOT correct your grammar or anything in anyway. It is like telling your husband Frank "could you tell Frank to take out the garbage". Not only is it EXTREMELY rude, but it makes us feel like you are talking down to us (makes us feel like you think we are incapable of understanding, like we are mentally slow or something). OMG, and this is not only on TTY/Relay calls. This is general public too. I have had more than one waitress ask my husband "and what would she like to eat. SERIOUSLY. Come on people. I am CAPABLE of ordering my own food. I not only use sign BUT I am a fairly good lipreader. OYE, sorry I will get off that soapbox now .
But along those same lines, I find the same kinda things with being out in a wheelchair. OMG come on people. I am a PERSON. I am more than my disability. I have feelings, thoughts, and a pretty good IQ. Don't treat me as if I am slow to the mind. Don't pretend I am not there. There is NO reason for you to be uncomfortable around me. I PROMISE I won't bite. Talking to me will NOT turn you into a goon. Starring at me instead of asking the questions that are on your mind is number one ANNOYING and number two EXTREMELY RUDE. I would rather you come up to me and kindly ask the questions that you are asking yourself in your head. I repeat, I am NOT gonna bite you. I would rather you ask me like you would ask anyone else that you meet on the street. Look past my wheelchair, and look at the person IN IT. DON'T treat me like you pitty me. I am JUST fine. I may have to do things differently than you do BUT I CAN do everything that you do. DO NOT PRETEND THAT I AM NOT THERE!!!!! How would you like it if everyone in the world went out of their way to avoid eye contact and went out of their way NOT to talk to you. I am a person. Again I won't bite, and my wheelchair is not something that you can "catch" to make you sick. Please do not scold your kids for talking to me or asking me questions. I PROMISE I will not say anything to your child that will warp them. I can answer their questions in a manner where they will understand, I will NOT share all the gory details, but I WILL tell them enough to satisfy their curiosity, while not going into too many detail. I will NOT bite or eat your kids I PROMISE. No they are not bugging me. They are trying to learn, and that is a good thing. I understand that kids are very blunt and they are not trying to be rude. When I am trying to get in and out of my vehicle PLEASE don't stare at me. Yes I KNOW it looks odd, you staring at me does NOT make it any easier on me and makes me wonder if your mama taught you manners. (some of this is the WHOLE reason I have been fighting my dr's on their recommendations). Don't assume that if you are mean to me that i will shirk away in a corner with my tail tucked between my legs. If you treat me with respect, I will treat you in kind. If you treat me like a dog, I WILL speak my mind in a manner where I am NOT rude but you WILL get my point even if i have to embarrass you like you are doing me.
OMG.....not sure why all that came out......but it did and there must be a reason so I'm not deleting it. LOL thank you so much for listening to my rant. You don't know how MUCH it helps me to just get it out sometimes. See ya'll tomorrow, pray for a better day. **Hugs and smoochies**
But along those same lines, I find the same kinda things with being out in a wheelchair. OMG come on people. I am a PERSON. I am more than my disability. I have feelings, thoughts, and a pretty good IQ. Don't treat me as if I am slow to the mind. Don't pretend I am not there. There is NO reason for you to be uncomfortable around me. I PROMISE I won't bite. Talking to me will NOT turn you into a goon. Starring at me instead of asking the questions that are on your mind is number one ANNOYING and number two EXTREMELY RUDE. I would rather you come up to me and kindly ask the questions that you are asking yourself in your head. I repeat, I am NOT gonna bite you. I would rather you ask me like you would ask anyone else that you meet on the street. Look past my wheelchair, and look at the person IN IT. DON'T treat me like you pitty me. I am JUST fine. I may have to do things differently than you do BUT I CAN do everything that you do. DO NOT PRETEND THAT I AM NOT THERE!!!!! How would you like it if everyone in the world went out of their way to avoid eye contact and went out of their way NOT to talk to you. I am a person. Again I won't bite, and my wheelchair is not something that you can "catch" to make you sick. Please do not scold your kids for talking to me or asking me questions. I PROMISE I will not say anything to your child that will warp them. I can answer their questions in a manner where they will understand, I will NOT share all the gory details, but I WILL tell them enough to satisfy their curiosity, while not going into too many detail. I will NOT bite or eat your kids I PROMISE. No they are not bugging me. They are trying to learn, and that is a good thing. I understand that kids are very blunt and they are not trying to be rude. When I am trying to get in and out of my vehicle PLEASE don't stare at me. Yes I KNOW it looks odd, you staring at me does NOT make it any easier on me and makes me wonder if your mama taught you manners. (some of this is the WHOLE reason I have been fighting my dr's on their recommendations). Don't assume that if you are mean to me that i will shirk away in a corner with my tail tucked between my legs. If you treat me with respect, I will treat you in kind. If you treat me like a dog, I WILL speak my mind in a manner where I am NOT rude but you WILL get my point even if i have to embarrass you like you are doing me.
OMG.....not sure why all that came out......but it did and there must be a reason so I'm not deleting it. LOL thank you so much for listening to my rant. You don't know how MUCH it helps me to just get it out sometimes. See ya'll tomorrow, pray for a better day. **Hugs and smoochies**
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Just a random day.
Hi everyone,
Hope all are doin good this fall Tuesday afternoon. I am having an ok day so far. LOL. Not much going on here but working on the house what I can and then doing some Swagbucks to save up for Christmas. Got an email from the seating company that is taking care of setting up my appointment for my PT seating evaluation. He said my appt will be November 6th, but he doesn't have a time yet. This particular PT comes to Mattoon once a month and this is the one that my dr's and the seating company want me to use. But that is the closest they come to my area (i am about 45 min away from Mattoon depending on how fast you drive and if you know the shortcuts). I know this sounds like a contradiction, but I just REALLY wish I could get in and get it done. I'm still not sure about all this trying to learn to get around better, BUT the things I do know for sure is yes I WANT to be able to get around better and on my own, and i also want to get this stuff outta the way so that I can teach myself some better ways of doing things and get things to where they seem "normal". Not sure this will EVER be normal, but i thought that too when I lost my hearing, so I know that once all the rig-a-marole is said and done and everything is the way it needs to be everything will settle into a routine and i will find different ways to do the things i want and need to. While this all still seems to OMG embarrass me out and about, I am ready to get thru this stage and get to the point where i can figure out how to do what i want. I am REALLY tired of being in the house all the time and I really feel sometimes that i hold my family back from doing things because of my mobility. OK I am 35 years old and i WANT to do things with my peeps. I WANT to be out and about. I WANT to do things in my community. I WANT to see my friends and make new ones. I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE. I WANT to be able to get Bubba into scoccer and go to his games and practices. I want Josie to do cheer or swimming or whatever her little heart desires. I WANT TO DO ALL OF THIS. Yes being in a wc embarrasses the devil outta me, but I am a thinker and I guess the way I need to focus on things is I can either keep being stubborn, keep fighting my dr's, keep falling till I hurt myself to the point where there is NO HOPE of ever being able to do the things I want. Or I can actually listen to what they are trying to tell me, find ways to work within that system and learn to do things in a wc, and be able to go out with my peeps, cook more, put up laundry by MYSELF without needing extra hands so I can shuffle my way to the drawers, be able to be INDEPENDENT. Now don't get me wrong......my family is a HUGE help. My husband is AWESOME and very understanding. My kids have always been the type where if they see something is not gonna work one way, they help figure out a way to get it done. But I have always been a strong-minded, independent woman. I know what i need and want to do.....and by golly i CAN do it myself. May not always be pretty, but where there is a will there IS a way. And the one thing I ABSOLUTELY cannot tolerate is someone telling me "You cannot do this.....there is no way you will be able to do this or that". PFFFFFFT oh YEAH WATCH ME!!! (something my mother caught on very early with me and used that.....which i am deeply appreciative of). I may not like this situation, but by golly I am not gonna let it get the best of me. If it means my butt is in a chair but i get to do everything that i need to to actually LIVE and not be a hermit so be it.
Hope all are doin good this fall Tuesday afternoon. I am having an ok day so far. LOL. Not much going on here but working on the house what I can and then doing some Swagbucks to save up for Christmas. Got an email from the seating company that is taking care of setting up my appointment for my PT seating evaluation. He said my appt will be November 6th, but he doesn't have a time yet. This particular PT comes to Mattoon once a month and this is the one that my dr's and the seating company want me to use. But that is the closest they come to my area (i am about 45 min away from Mattoon depending on how fast you drive and if you know the shortcuts). I know this sounds like a contradiction, but I just REALLY wish I could get in and get it done. I'm still not sure about all this trying to learn to get around better, BUT the things I do know for sure is yes I WANT to be able to get around better and on my own, and i also want to get this stuff outta the way so that I can teach myself some better ways of doing things and get things to where they seem "normal". Not sure this will EVER be normal, but i thought that too when I lost my hearing, so I know that once all the rig-a-marole is said and done and everything is the way it needs to be everything will settle into a routine and i will find different ways to do the things i want and need to. While this all still seems to OMG embarrass me out and about, I am ready to get thru this stage and get to the point where i can figure out how to do what i want. I am REALLY tired of being in the house all the time and I really feel sometimes that i hold my family back from doing things because of my mobility. OK I am 35 years old and i WANT to do things with my peeps. I WANT to be out and about. I WANT to do things in my community. I WANT to see my friends and make new ones. I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE. I WANT to be able to get Bubba into scoccer and go to his games and practices. I want Josie to do cheer or swimming or whatever her little heart desires. I WANT TO DO ALL OF THIS. Yes being in a wc embarrasses the devil outta me, but I am a thinker and I guess the way I need to focus on things is I can either keep being stubborn, keep fighting my dr's, keep falling till I hurt myself to the point where there is NO HOPE of ever being able to do the things I want. Or I can actually listen to what they are trying to tell me, find ways to work within that system and learn to do things in a wc, and be able to go out with my peeps, cook more, put up laundry by MYSELF without needing extra hands so I can shuffle my way to the drawers, be able to be INDEPENDENT. Now don't get me wrong......my family is a HUGE help. My husband is AWESOME and very understanding. My kids have always been the type where if they see something is not gonna work one way, they help figure out a way to get it done. But I have always been a strong-minded, independent woman. I know what i need and want to do.....and by golly i CAN do it myself. May not always be pretty, but where there is a will there IS a way. And the one thing I ABSOLUTELY cannot tolerate is someone telling me "You cannot do this.....there is no way you will be able to do this or that". PFFFFFFT oh YEAH WATCH ME!!! (something my mother caught on very early with me and used that.....which i am deeply appreciative of). I may not like this situation, but by golly I am not gonna let it get the best of me. If it means my butt is in a chair but i get to do everything that i need to to actually LIVE and not be a hermit so be it.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Where I am
Hi Everyone,
My name is Bobbi. I am 35, married and have 2 AWESOME children (Josie age 10 and Toby age 6). I am from Illinois and I have decided to start a new blog for this new journey I am on. I am a deaf cochlear implant user (we use sign and i also lipread). I lost my hearing do to an autoimmune disease called lupus. Here recently I have also been diagnosed with degenerative arthritis. I have been using a wheelchair on and off for the past few years, but here recently it has become a daily need for me to use my temporary wheelchair daily. I have been fighting my dr's alot on some of his suggestions, but i have come to the realization that they are right and i am wrong (yeah i know imagine that). So finally, after much stubbornness on my part, I have agreed to do what the dr has asked me to do. I allowed him to make the appointment with the PT (physical therapist) to have an evaluation done so that i can be fitted for a different wheelchair. The one i have now is a hospital type and one size fits all, for indoor use, and for only temp use. My dr's said that i need one that is more custom built to my needs. I'm not sure this is a need, but they assure me that it will be easier for me to maneuver and make my life easier (and at this stage of the game i am all for easier). They also asked that i try to obtain a powerchair (for the days that my arms are not strong enough to push my wc or for when i am out an about on uneven terrain (which with 2 little ones is quite alot). A very DEAR friend has one that they no longer use anymore and has been SO kind to let us have that one (we pick it up here in a week or so, she lives about 4 hours away from us). And the last request my dr's have asked of me is to get a handicapped parking permit (which i have just received in the mail). At the age of 35 i must say that all this kinda embarrasses me, to the point of wanting to hide in a hole somewhere. I do NOT like being the center of attention AT ALL. I am one of those "work behind the scenes" type of gal. So to suddenly be thrust into everyone's obvious view is WAAAAAAY outta my comfort zone. BUT on the other hand, i am a FIERCELY independent chickie. And i want to be able to keep up with my family. I miss being able to be out in the yard with them (i normally refer to my family as "my peeps" LOL and you will find that i am very unformal, fun-loving, goofie, hippie chick). And the way things are right now, it causes more people to stare when i try to walk versus when i use my chair......so i believe the doctors are right and i will quite fighting them so much (emphasis on the so much part). With all this said, I have started this blog to not only vent my daily frustrations, joys, and the everyday, but also to maybe help others that are headed for or on the same path that i am on. For me it is easier to express myself by typing or writing versus speaking. For some reason i feel more free to be honest and open when i am talking to a sheet of paper or computer screen. And if this can help anyone in anyway, then it is worth it. I am just learning how to work around things in the mobility area. I must say while it IS OMG frustrating at time, i have NO DOUBT that i WILL find ways to do exactly what i need and want to do. This will NOT slow me down, nor will it define my life. I have an AWESOME husband and kids who love me for ME, no matter if i can walk or hear. My house is NOT wc (wheelchair) friendly, but we are working on ways to make that better. Well my kids are BEGGING for some snack and mommy time, so i will write again later. Thank you all for listening. See ya laters **hugs**
My name is Bobbi. I am 35, married and have 2 AWESOME children (Josie age 10 and Toby age 6). I am from Illinois and I have decided to start a new blog for this new journey I am on. I am a deaf cochlear implant user (we use sign and i also lipread). I lost my hearing do to an autoimmune disease called lupus. Here recently I have also been diagnosed with degenerative arthritis. I have been using a wheelchair on and off for the past few years, but here recently it has become a daily need for me to use my temporary wheelchair daily. I have been fighting my dr's alot on some of his suggestions, but i have come to the realization that they are right and i am wrong (yeah i know imagine that). So finally, after much stubbornness on my part, I have agreed to do what the dr has asked me to do. I allowed him to make the appointment with the PT (physical therapist) to have an evaluation done so that i can be fitted for a different wheelchair. The one i have now is a hospital type and one size fits all, for indoor use, and for only temp use. My dr's said that i need one that is more custom built to my needs. I'm not sure this is a need, but they assure me that it will be easier for me to maneuver and make my life easier (and at this stage of the game i am all for easier). They also asked that i try to obtain a powerchair (for the days that my arms are not strong enough to push my wc or for when i am out an about on uneven terrain (which with 2 little ones is quite alot). A very DEAR friend has one that they no longer use anymore and has been SO kind to let us have that one (we pick it up here in a week or so, she lives about 4 hours away from us). And the last request my dr's have asked of me is to get a handicapped parking permit (which i have just received in the mail). At the age of 35 i must say that all this kinda embarrasses me, to the point of wanting to hide in a hole somewhere. I do NOT like being the center of attention AT ALL. I am one of those "work behind the scenes" type of gal. So to suddenly be thrust into everyone's obvious view is WAAAAAAY outta my comfort zone. BUT on the other hand, i am a FIERCELY independent chickie. And i want to be able to keep up with my family. I miss being able to be out in the yard with them (i normally refer to my family as "my peeps" LOL and you will find that i am very unformal, fun-loving, goofie, hippie chick). And the way things are right now, it causes more people to stare when i try to walk versus when i use my chair......so i believe the doctors are right and i will quite fighting them so much (emphasis on the so much part). With all this said, I have started this blog to not only vent my daily frustrations, joys, and the everyday, but also to maybe help others that are headed for or on the same path that i am on. For me it is easier to express myself by typing or writing versus speaking. For some reason i feel more free to be honest and open when i am talking to a sheet of paper or computer screen. And if this can help anyone in anyway, then it is worth it. I am just learning how to work around things in the mobility area. I must say while it IS OMG frustrating at time, i have NO DOUBT that i WILL find ways to do exactly what i need and want to do. This will NOT slow me down, nor will it define my life. I have an AWESOME husband and kids who love me for ME, no matter if i can walk or hear. My house is NOT wc (wheelchair) friendly, but we are working on ways to make that better. Well my kids are BEGGING for some snack and mommy time, so i will write again later. Thank you all for listening. See ya laters **hugs**
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