Just a random day.

Hi everyone,

Hope all are doin good this fall Tuesday afternoon.  I am having an ok day so far.  LOL. Not much going on here but working on the house what I can and then doing some Swagbucks to save up for Christmas.  Got an email from the seating company that is taking care of setting up my appointment for my PT seating evaluation.  He said my appt will be November 6th, but he doesn't have a time yet.  This particular PT comes to Mattoon once a month and this is the one that my dr's and the seating company want me to use.  But that is the closest they come to my area (i am about 45 min away from Mattoon depending on how fast you drive and if you know the shortcuts).  I know this sounds like a contradiction, but I just REALLY wish I could get in and get it done.  I'm still not sure about all this trying to learn to get around better, BUT the things I do know for sure is yes I WANT to be able to get around better and on my own, and i also want to get this stuff outta the way so that I can teach myself some better ways of doing things and get things to where they seem "normal".  Not sure this will EVER be normal, but i thought that too when I lost my hearing, so I know that once all the rig-a-marole is said and done and everything is the way it needs to be everything will settle into a routine and i will find different ways to do the things i want and need to.  While this all still seems to OMG embarrass me out and about, I am ready to get thru this stage and get to the point where i can figure out how to do what i want.  I am REALLY tired of being in the house all the time and I really feel sometimes that i hold my family back from doing things because of my mobility.  OK I am 35 years old and i WANT to do things with my peeps.   I WANT to be out and about.   I WANT to do things in my community.  I WANT to see my friends and make new ones.   I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE.   I WANT to be able to get Bubba into scoccer and go to his games and practices.  I want Josie to do cheer or swimming or whatever her little heart desires.    I WANT TO DO ALL OF THIS. Yes being in a wc embarrasses the devil outta me, but I am a thinker and I guess the way I need to focus on things is I can either keep being stubborn, keep fighting my dr's, keep falling till I hurt myself to the point where there is NO HOPE of ever being able to do the things I want.  Or I can actually listen to what they are trying to tell me, find ways to work within that system and learn to do things in a wc, and be able to go out with my peeps, cook more, put up laundry by MYSELF without needing extra hands so I can shuffle my way to the drawers, be able to be INDEPENDENT.  Now don't get me wrong......my family is a HUGE help.  My husband is AWESOME and very understanding.  My kids have always been the type where if they see something is not gonna work one way, they help figure out a way to get it done.  But I have always been a strong-minded, independent woman.  I know what i need and want to do.....and by golly i CAN do it myself.  May not always be pretty, but where there is a will there IS a way.  And the one thing I ABSOLUTELY cannot tolerate is someone telling me "You cannot do this.....there is no way you will be able to do this or that".    PFFFFFFT  oh YEAH WATCH ME!!!  (something my mother caught on very early with me and used that.....which i am deeply appreciative of).  I may not like this situation, but by golly I am not gonna let it get the best of me.  If it means my butt is in a chair but i get to do everything that i need to to actually LIVE and not be a hermit so be it.